Signs & Symptoms of Love Addiction

• Denial 

• Cognitive distortions: Confusing love and sex; Distorted view of relationships

• Believing that you must agree to unreasonable demands to keep partner

• Obsessive thoughts about partner

• Obsessing about what to say & how to say it to make partner understand or change his/her behavior

• Inability to stop obsessive thoughts about partner or ex-lover (positive or negative)

• Unable to concentrate at work due to obsessive thoughts of partner

• Believing you can control the addiction (I will only see certain men. I will stop dating for a short time & I’ll be ok)

• Believing there is a partner ‘out there’ who will "fix me & take care of me” (White knight in shining armor) 

 

EMOTIONAL

 

• Spending a lot of time worrying about where your partner is while he/she is away

• Getting a high from romance, real or imagined (fantasy partner)

• Poor emotional boundaries (easily hurt, takes responsibility for partner’s feelings)

• Excessive jealousy (fear of abandonment)

• Angry outbursts (fear of abandonment)

• Loss of self/identity

• Progressively having less and less self-esteem

• Feeling desperate & worthless without a partner

• Feeling guilty about not wanting to have sex with partner (feels responsible for unrealistic sexual needs of partner)

• Failing to find satisfaction in relationships

• Preferring fantasy to reality

• Expecting one person to meet all your emotional needs

• Feeling angry or enraged in the later stages of the relationship when your partner fails to meet your needs.

• Avoiding feelings by getting into a new romantic relationship

• Suicidal ideation or attempts after a relationship break up

 

PHYSICAL

 

• Poor physical boundaries: standing too close, allowing inappropriate touch, unwanted sex

• Rape

• Attempting suicide

• Suicidal ideation

• Cosmetic surgery

• Talking seductively

• Unwanted tattoos

• Rapid weight fluctuations

• Unwanted pregnancies

• Contracting STDs

• Bruises, cuts, broken bones, unexplained falls or accidents

• Isolating from true friendships & family to be with partner

 

Dressing provocatively to attract opposite sex or to, “feel good about self”

Relapse on drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, codependence or other addictions due to pain
of a relationship

• Losing the ability to say "no" to partner's demands

• Giving in to unreasonable sexual demands out of fear that partner will leave or be angry

• Clinging to a relationship long after its over

• Postponing one's own self-care to be with partner

• Getting cosmetic surgery to appear more attractive to potential partners

• Picking out alcoholics, sex addicts, and/or abusive partners over and over again

• Experiencing abusive or unacceptable behavior from partner and remaining in the relationship

• Inability to leave a clearly dangerous relationship

• Allowing a partner to control things that one should be self-responsible for

• Placing oneself in dangerous situations to find love or be with partner

• Compulsive contact with ex-partner that causes on-going pain and emotional distress

• Stalking controlling, manipulating, drive bys, excessive calling/emailing/texting

• Hiring a private detective to follow partner

• Accusing partner of being unfaithful

• Starting other relationships prior to ending the current relationship

• Having romantic intrigue with someone else while in a committed relationship

 

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MENTAL